Lesson 5 of 12
In Progress

Looking After Looks

One of the biggest reasons many people suffer from low confidence is that they’re unhappy with a physical feature – or indeed all of their physical features. If this describes you, then you should be pleased to know that there is a lot you can do about your physical features, and there’s a fair chance you’re not maximizing your potential. Here’s how to play the hand you’re dealt and get yourself looking like a million dollars.

It’s the Little Things – How to Feel Taller

Firstly, appearance needn’t necessarily mean your face, and for many men in particular low confidence can stem from not being as tall as they’d like to be. Even if this isn’t a particular source of contention for you, adding a bit of extra height will automatically help you to feel more confident as you look down on people, or at least look at them at eye level, rather than constantly looking up. But it’s impossible to make yourself grow taller right? Well yes and no. Basically, rather than actually growing taller yourself, you can make yourself appear taller by investing in insoles that increase your height. If you type into e-bay ‘tall insoles’ you’ll find several products along the lines of what you’re looking for. These only cost a small amount and can be easily slipped inside your shoe then adjusted to be taller or shorter up to around four inches.

Four inches of extra height if the shoes you’re wearing allow it, take you from a short-ish five nine to a fairly tall six foot one. If you combine this with fairly large shoes you can be really rather tall. For women, the same can be true of high heels, and as an added bonus these also make women stand up taller and improve their gait and stride – you can’t shuffle in heels.

For men bulking up will also make you more imposing and as you generally, fill up more space you’ll feel more commanding and confident (more on this in an upcoming chapter). Try eating large
amounts of protein along with regular exercise and work in particular on your chest and shoulders to create an imposing
silhouette.

It’s hard to feel insecure when you’re over six foot and covered in muscle. At the same time men who are conscious about their
weight should make sure to do a lot of CV and avoid fatty foods to get themselves feeling leaner and less chubby – perhaps you need to take up less space.

Likewise, for women, toning your abs and tightening your behind can make you feel sexier and again improve your silhouette. To help you along the way you can always use underwear that holds in the fatter areas and plumps out the bits that need plumping. Girdles and corsets are the best known but you can also get pants that support your bottom. Girdles also exist for guys and while it may be a bit embarrassing, they can at the same time
make you feel more confident when you’re out and about – no one need to know!

How to Beam

You know what also makes a huge difference to the way you feel though? Posture. In the last section, we saw the power of feeling taller or bigger. This can make you physically take up more space, which in turn can drastically increase confidence.

But simply by pulling your shoulders back and holding your chin up, you can have a very similar effect. Not only that, but this has a physiological impact on your mood, which helps you to feel more positive.

 

Putting Your Best Face On

Inserting additional lifts into your shoes might all be a bit extreme though, and if it’s just your facial features you’re concerned about there’s still a lot you can achieve without resorting to surgery. Firstly, make sure you get a haircut somewhere nice and one that fits the shape of your head.

The squarer your jaw the more rounded a cut you’ll need and vice versa as a general rule. If you’re male you also need to think about facial hair, and while this is generally a fashion mistake it can sometimes really improve your looks – just look at Rowan Atkinson in Mr. Bean compared to the same guy in Blackadder. You might also want to try dying your hair to see if another color suits you better.

If you’re a woman you have the benefit of being able to enhance your features with make-up. This means using foundation to cover up spots and blemishes and blusher to bring a bit more color to your cheeks. Often those who are a little shy will try to dress and apply makeup minimally so as not to draw attention to
themselves. However, this attempt to ‘hide’ in plain sight can cause all the same self-fulfilling prophecy effects that we have previously looked at. In other words, you shrink away, and people assume that you don’t want to be seen.

If you get professional advice on how to do your makeup you can maximize your good features and up your sex appeal even if you can’t aid your natural beauty. A professional from somewhere like ‘Color Me Beautiful’ will tell you not only which colors suit you best, but also what your best features are.

Normally, you will be told to focus on either your eyes or your lips, depending on which is your stronger feature, and then apply the heaviest amount of makeup here to draw the eyes to your assets and away from your flaws.

So if you have nice lips you might be advised to use some bright red lipstick to make them look fuller and more inviting, while if you’re the strongest feature is your eyes you might be recommended to use a heavy eye shadow or eyeliner to make them stand out. Generally, it’s best not to go too heavy on both as you can end up looking like a porn star or as though you’re just trying too hard, and while your colors should be bold they shouldn’t look as though you’re wearing face paint – natural-looking colors that suit your skin tone is to be advised.

Prefer a more natural look? That’s fine too – but that doesn’t mean not using any makeup at all. It just means being more subtle, and carefully highlighting your best features.

Grooming
Both men and women should also make sure they groom properly. For women that means removing any stray facial hairs and moisturizing regularly. For men, that again means moisturizing to be rid of dead skin as well as trimming their nasal hairs and ear hairs which can be very foul if neglected. At the same time use whitening toothpaste and maybe even a specific whiteners to give your teeth a glow.

Alternatively, a nicer set of glasses or a
cool pair of sunglasses can improve
your face and make you look intelligent
or cool depending on your desired look.
Spend a little more on the things that
you use to decorate and adorn your
face.

Basically, the take-home message is not to give up on your looks. As long as you
put effort into your appearance and ask friends for honest advice, you’ll look better and feel better about yourself. There’s nothing wrong with cutting a few corners or using a few sneaky tricks to improve the way you look and if you look good, you’ll feel good.

It’s not even just about the way you look thanks to your grooming – it’s also about the way it feels. Taking the time to look after yourself is a physical reminder that you do care about your looks (and yourself by extension). This is a chance to unwind, and the feeling of running a razor over your skin and opening up those pores can be extremely cathartic – like you’re letting go of the day’s stresses.

Why not spend a little more on a high-tech bathroom and invest in a walk-in shower, or even a hot tub? You could get yourself a steam room and turn your home into a mini spa.

Spa breaks themselves also come highly recommended for both men and women. Having someone attentive to your needs, being pampered, and coming away smelling and looking great… these all make a huge difference to the way you look, feel, and present yourself!